Factors THAT ARE HARD TO CHANGE ONCE You are MARRIED (Static Risk factors):

  • Having a personality tendency to react strongly or defensively to problems and disappointments
  • Having divorced parents
  • Living together prior to marriage
  • Being previously divorced, yourself or your partner
  • Having children from a previous marriage
  • Having different religious backgrounds
  • Marrying at a very young age (for example, at the age of 18 or 19; the average these days is about 25 or 26 years of age for first marriages).
  • Knowing each other only for a short time before marriage
  • Experiencing financial hardship

Factors that you can change to improve your odds, if you work at it (Dynamic risk factors):

  • Negative styles of talking and fighting with each other, like arguments that rapidly become negative, put downs, and the silent treatment
  • Difficulty communicating well, especially when you disagree
  • Trouble handling disagreements as a team
  • Unrealistic beliefs about marriage
  • Having different attitudes about important things
  • A low level of commitment to one another, reflected in such things as not protecting your relationship from others you are attracted to, or failing to view your marriage as a long term investment

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These are things to take seriously when thinking of getting married. Premarital counseling is an important step in dealing with some of these risk factors.  –Christian Counseling Center

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