Forgive. Let go of toxic resentment and judgement–but acknowledge that you don’t condone the actions of the person who hurt you.

Don’t feel like a doormat. You can forgive someone but also take steps to prevent that person from taking advantage of you in the future, or to prevent leaving yourself vulnerable in a similar situation.

Decide: Is it serving you to hold on to anger? Does resentment toward your spouse (or ex) really help you in any way?

Do your emotional homework. What changes have you made to prevent a recurrence of what took place? What have you learned about yourself that will help you in future situations?

Most important, forgive yourself. If you notice self-criticism seeping in, take a moment to breathe, then acknowledge that you made a mistake and that you are fallible, just like everyone else. Try telling yourself, “Even though I did (what ever the mistake was), I still accept myself.”