I’m not talking about one’s ability to experience the feeling of anger; all of us should be able to identify that God-given emotion in our lives. I’m talking primarily about frozen anger- resentment. When we hold on to anger and don’t address it, bad things often happen. There may be issues about unforgiveness in the person’s life. Often, underlying anger is fear, hurt, or both. Metaphorically, the clenched fist feels a whole lot safer than the more vulnerable open palm.

It can also relate to the frequency and intensity of how anger is expressed. Proverbs 22:24 says, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered.” Is it really stretching this verse to say, don’t marry a hot-tempered person?  I don’t think so. “But he’s got a good reason to be angry!” “You don’t know what she’s been through!” There are a lot of legitimate reasons people may struggle with anger, but marrying into it is like walking into a hornet’s nest.

Men tend to have a tougher challenge facing their anger. They may either ignore it, denying its there, or they may explode. Ladies, seeing how he resolves his anger will be the difference between a red flag and a green light in your relationship.

There is no place for physical control or violence in a relationship! It is a major red flag that needs swift action like ending the relationship! Could someone get help for their violent ways? Yes, but you would need strong evidence that it has been thoroughly dealt with spiritually, emotionally, and with a significant time of violence-free living. Your friend getting help while remaining in the relationship runs the risk of pseudo recovery.

Advertisements