There is more to making a good marriage better in addition to good communication. Here are tips to make your marriage better.

Pay attention to the needs of your mate as though they are more important or equal to those of your needs. This type of effort usually results in your mate returning the same interest and energy.

Compliment your mate about their appearance, the meal, or whatever would be a genuine positive comment. A good practice is a 5/1 ratio when talking to your mate. Share five positive comments before you attempt to address a concern or criticism.

Small efforts may be more impacting than a major effort, such as, surprising you spouse with something, not expensive that reflects that you thought of them during the day. It could be a card, flower, candy for your wife, while your husband might appreciate something that reflects his interest, such a new fishing lure, tennis racket, shirt, or his favorite candy bar. Use your imagination because it does not have to be any of the mentioned items.

Get Back on the Right Track

When you have a conflict, stop long enough to listen to each other. Really listen rather than jumping to conclusion. Stop with the criticism long enough to notice the positive and make appropriate comments to encourage rather than tearing down. Be cautious with you chosen words as well as your non-verbal expressions.

Be quick to stop the negative, say that you are sorry; I love you and please forgive me.  Sometime it is important to recall a simple rule, “HALT”.

HALT-Never-let-yourself-get-too-hungry-anxious-lonely-or-tired.jpg“H” You might be hungry (or hangry). Take time to eat a snack and wait up to 30 minutes and try again.

”A” Did you feel angry before you began talking or because of how something was expressed? Take ten deep breaths to cleanse your thoughts before going on with the discussion.

“L” may suggest that you might be feeling lonely and not ready for the conversation. It may be helpful to have a conversation about how you feel and allow the other person to know where you are in perspective to the current topic. This could improve your ability to have a more production conversation.

“T” may reveal that you are tired and not at your best to deal with a deep conversation until rested. Hammering out a topic while overly tired may result in greater damage. Tired employees are more prone to accidents that when well rested and the same is likely true for marriages as well.

Take time today to make use these tips to make your marriage a positive marriage.

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