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With the holidays comes holiday parties. Many of us will be attending parties, whether they be family, friends, church
or work. For some individuals these are more difficult and it is more than just who makes up the crowd (although that can certainly be part of it.)

If you are dreading all these “get-togethers” it could be because you are introverted. Simply defined, introverts are people that are recharged by spending time by themselves. People with this personality type are drained by large gatherings and the pressure to socialize for an extended period of time. Especially if that time is undefined. Introverts are not necessarily “anti-social” they just don’t always fit into the social butterfly mold that extroverts do. Extroverts are recharged by being around people. Interactions with people are what keep them going, so holiday parties can be much more enjoyable for them.

Tips for introverts this season:

  • If possible, don’t attend every party you are invited to
  • Predetermine how long you plan on staying
  • Take “time-outs” if you start to feel overwhelmed whether that is outside for fresh air or a quick trip to the restroom
  • Offer to help the host

So, don’t beat yourself up with holiday parties this year and remember that it is acceptable to take steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed. You are not the only one that feels that way!


Louise Hawkley, PhD, says we should think of loneliness not as a state but as a motivation to get social. Here’s how:

Get out and about. You don’t have to be best friends with someone to benefit from interaction. Amity Brown, who is separated from her husband, takes walks around her neighborhood, smiling at people she passes. “When I started getting to know the neighborhood and the people around me, I felt like part of a community,” she says.

Be selective about making friends. Hawkley points out that if you’re desperate for relationships, you may be willing to tolerate unacceptable treatment. Now that Brown is feeling more stable, she says, “I’m more careful when I choose my friends to make sure they’re low-drama.”

Stay positive. Lonely people tend to expect rejection, which makes it more likely to happen. Social cognitive therapy can help people reframe their thoughts about how others see them.


by Carol Livingstine

Following are ten ways guarenteed, with practice, to ruin any marriage, no matter how good it is. Read them carefully. Are you practicing any of these mistakes right now? Maybe it is not too late to mend your ways.

The following ways will be talked about more in depth over the next few days:

Stop being appreciate of each other.

Do not even try to keep the romance alive.

Do everything together.

Ignore each other

Never go out together–just the two of you.

Never remember special occasions such as birthdays or anniversaries.

Always nag.

Constantly compare your partner unfavorably to other persons.

Never worry about your appearance.

Never pray for each other or pray together.

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Create a sacred space in your home. Display pictures and objects that link you with your inner self. Listen to music that motivates you to think of the world and your unique place in it.

Join a prayer or study group at your place of worship.

Immerse yourself in inspiring spiritual or religious books. It’s a wonderful way to peacefully start or end your day.

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Get moving. Regular physical exercise, especially exercise that you truly enjoy, boosts both your energy and your mood, and it reinforces your power to take charge of your own health and well-being.

Step out of your comfort zone. Learn a new language or computer program, or start a new project at home or at work. By embracing the unfamiliar, you’ll strengthen your capacity to handle all sorts of new situations. The more you challenge yourself in different ways, the more resilient you will become.

Clear the weeds that are choking your optimism. When you notice yourself thinking pessimistic or cynical thoughts, take a moment to step back and reevaluate. See if you can look at the situation from a different perspective–one that is kinder to you and allows for a more constructive way of handling the difficulty.

Get to the heart of the matter. People who have endured a crisis and use the setback to further a cause–such as a mother who works tirelessly to raise funds for the illness that took her child–find that this newfound direction and energy can add dimension to their lives.

Reorder your priorities. Ask yourself: How do you plan to spend your time differently now? Who are the people you want to spend time with? Are there new ways you can use your strengths in the service of what’s important to you now?

Think about what you would do if you had only a year to live. Write down what you’d want to do, what conversations you’d want to have, the person you’d want to be. Read it over and consider the steps you can take to achieve those goals.

Air your feelings, even if only to yourself. For instance, say “I want to run him over with a truck!” This allows you to observe and give shape to your own emotions.

Confide is someone. Don’t isolate yourself. This does not mean you should pour your heart out to everyone who casually asks how your’re doing, but do let your fair down with the people who have a genuine interest in your well-being.

Start a journal or a blog. Studies show that writing about a traumatic events is another way of letting it out that can help minimize the chances of getting sick or becoming depressed. The more you write about the situation, the more your negative emotional responses to the memory diminish. Acknowledging and expressing your anger, sadness, or fear through writing allows you to release the emotion.

Whether you would like to lose a few pounds, spend more time with your kids, or nurture your creative side, you can develop healthy habits to help you keep that New Year Resolution. Start by printing out this tips. Post them in a prominent place, and resolve to take a different approach to change this year.

Find something you love. You have heard it before, but the fact remains that devoting yourself to a lifetime of unpleasant tasks is drudgery. Choose habits and pursuits you enjoy.

Cast a wide net. You never know what might spark your passion. Variety keeps things interesting and allows you to approach problems in new ways. It can also take you out of your comfort zone–essential to leading a rich life.

Make a plan. Until it is on paper, it is just a wish. You can deviate from it, but a specific, detailed plan serves as a handrail so you always have something to come back to.

Recruit a partner. Often, we are more faithful to others than we are to ourselves. Find someone–a friend, family member, or acquaintance at the gym–who has similar goals and shares your enthusiasm. If you can’t find anyone, enlist friends, class instructors, or others to help you find a partner.

Establish a routine. Sticking with a new routine is easier if you do it at the same time everyday. It requires less mental effort and soon becomes an unconscious positive force.

Focus on results. Remember why you are expending the effort, and congratulate yourself with both concrete and abstract rewards: Pick up that shirt you have been eyeing or strike a sexy pose in front of the mirror.

Document what you do. Take pictures, make a chart, or keep a journal to document your successful transformation.

From Kansas State University:

While many see the holidays as a happy and festive time, the season can be one of the most difficult times of the year for people grieving for a recently lost loved one or struggling with depression.

It’s not unusual to have an increase in the number of people experiencing some form of depression during the holiday season, said Stephanie Wick, a Kansas State University instructor in family studies and human services and a licensed marriage and family therapist.

In addition to the holidays, the winter days are shorter, the weather is colder, and people spend more time indoors — all of which can contribute to a difficult time of year. The holidays also are perceived as a joyful time filled with family, tradition, making memories and enjoying each other’s company, Wick said.

“When you’ve lost a loved one and you’re coming up on the holiday season, there’s a giant void,” Wick said. “It’s a reminder that all these other families are celebrating this time together and enjoying their time together, but we’ve lost this person. We can’t enjoy this time because we’re not complete, we’re not whole.”

Wick says there are ways for people grieving, along with their friends and relatives, to face the holidays during a difficult time. Every person goes through grief differently, Wick said, and will approach the holidays in diverse ways.

“I think one of the most important things to do as an outsider watching a person who is grieving is to respect their healing process,” Wick said. “If they decide they don’t want to put up a Christmas tree, have a meal or open presents, as an outsider it’s important to respect that because it’s necessary for that person or that family’s process of trying to get through this holiday season.”

Sometimes simply engaging in conversations about the person who died can help the grieving process, if the grieving person is willing to talk. Telling funny stories or sharing memories can be a way to keep the person’s memory alive.

But there are certain behaviors a grieving person can exhibit that might be signals for concern, Wick said. Such behaviors can include any indication of major depression with no effort to reach out for help; refusing any help that is offered; or any type of suicidal thoughts or plans.

After someone has died it can be very difficult for a family to resume old holiday traditions. Wick suggests creating new traditions instead of trying to continue old ones during a time of grief.

“Families can do something they haven’t done before or go somewhere else for the holidays,” Wick said. “It’s a way of marking the new phase, but also preserving the old traditions and the memory of those traditions with the person who has died.”

It’s important to remember that the grieving process takes time, Wick said.

“It gets easier with time,” she said. “The first holiday is the hardest. For many people it’s a process of surviving, just getting through one holiday at a time.”



10. Prioritize. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you have multiple tasks crowding your mind. Make a list and finish your most dreaded duties first to avoid the anxiety caused by procrastination. Make a list and check off each task as you complete it. At the end of the day, a list of accomplishments is a great visual reminder of how productive you were.

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  • Learning how not to do for others what they can learn to do for themselves is one of the golden rules of adult maturity. 4 years ago
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