Mommy’s Mindfulness Toolbox

Mindfulness is a state of being aware. It is a process of intentionally observing our surroundings in the moment, with engaged awareness and free of judgment. Mindfulness is not a passive state and may require practice to be in the moment. Left to itself the mind wanders through all kinds of thoughts — including thoughts expressing anger, craving, depression, revenge, self-pity, etc. As we indulge in these kinds of thoughts we reinforce those emotions in our hearts and cause ourselves to suffer. By purposefully directing our awareness away from such thoughts and towards some “anchor” we decrease their effect on our lives and we create instead a space of freedom where calmness and contentment can grow.

As a parent, being mindful allows us to choose a skillful response instead of just reacting. Being mindful can help a child regulate his/her emotions, be more focused, and to make better decisions. Practicing mindfulness with your child is a great way to spend time to together and to teach your child to be aware of their experience and to recognize when their attention has wandered. Why not get your toolbox of ideas ready? Here are some ideas to get you started.

 

Tool #1 Focus on your body: Do a body scan. Wiggle your toes. Let your arms and legs be like spaghetti. Feel your breath go in and out. Depending on the age of the child, you might say, “Pretend your belly is a balloon and watch it expand. Then blow out a noisy breath through the lips. How does that feel?” You might use a breathing buddy. Put a stuffed animal on their belly and watch the rise and fall of their buddy.

Tool #2 Focus on an object. What is the color? Can you touch it? Is it cold? If you have a smooth pebble or marble, feel the coolness. Then hold it in your hand a few minutes. Notice the change in temperature. If you are eating, focus on the food. Is it cold or hot? Is it sweet?

Tool # 3 Focus on sounds. Ask your child what sounds he/she can hear? Is the clock ticking? Can you hear the wind? Use a bell or sound on your phone or just tap lightly on the table. Ask the child to listen and let you know when the sound stops.

Tool #4 Focus on love. Ask your child to name all the people who love them. Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, grandparent, dog or cat. You can also think of things the child loves about others. What do you like about your friends? Ask what you can do to be kind to the ones who love you.

Who Needs Counseling?

Thank you for visiting our page. Do you have questions about our Center or how to get counseling? Here are some frequently asked questions.

Why should I have counseling? Anyone who would like to better themselves or enhance their relationships can benefit from counseling. Our therapists have tools that can guide you to improve the way you interact with others at home, at work, and other areas of your life. They also see people who have depression, anxiety, stress, anger issues, substance abuse, or trauma in their life.

Who will I be speaking to? We have 2 licensed therapist and have offices in Paducah, Benton, and Murray. Roger Thompson is our Director. He has a Master’s degree in Psychology and is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Karen Diane Reed has a Master’s Degree in Counseling and is Licensed Professional Counselor.

What can I expect from counseling? The first session we call an Intake or Diagnostic Interview. There is a lot of information gathered at that time about family, health, current issues and goals. The therapist will make an assessment and discuss a plan that meets your needs. Therapy is not a magic cure, and it requires that you are invested in taking steps to achieve your goals.

How much do I pay? Regarding fees, we are in network with many commercial insurance companies and programs available through employers. Your fee would depend on your Mental Health coverage. We also have fees based on income and there is an additional $15 off for self-pay clients paying at the time of service.

When can I make an appointment? At this time we are scheduling about 3 weeks in advance for new clients, but after the initial visit we will do our best to arrange multiple appointments so the wait is not as long in between. Someone is available Monday, Wednesday and Thursday in Paducah; on Tuesday in Benton; and on Friday in Murray.

If you are struggling with the direction that you are going right now, stop and take the first step in discovering how things can be better. Call our office at 270-442-5738 to make an appointment.

Life Gets Tedious

My Granny Ray had two sayings that I am reminded of quite frequently: “Life gets tedious”, and “This too shall pass.” She didn’t necessarily use these together on the same occasion, but I have found that you can count on both. She used the saying about life being tedious to let me know that whatever I am going through is just part of life and that each person will go through difficulties in life.

Paul Faulkner, in his series, “Making Things Right when Things go Wrong”, sets the premise that things do go wrong. And life is the process of making things right when things have gone wrong. So what can you do about a bad situation?

• Re-frame your thinking. Look for a positive aspect to the situation. Sometimes it is not what actually happens to us that matters as much as how we react to what happens. The Apostle Paul suffered a thorn in the flesh. But when he re-framed his thinking he was able to say, “When I am weak, then I am strong”.
• Act better than you feel. Actions seal your commitment to something. While you cannot will yourself to feel a certain way, you can will yourself to act a certain way, which will cause your feelings to follow along. Faulkner says most of the good that’s done in this world is done by people who don’t feel like it. They are people of faith because faith is acting on something you cannot verify with your feelings.
• Cut your line when it is tangled. Experienced fishermen simply cut the tangled line, pull out a new line, and get on with their fishing. The line of life sometimes gets tangled by guilt and resentment. The way to survive and make things right that have gone wrong is to live one day at a time – today.
• Keep cool, even when you are hot. Once you lose control of your temper, you are no longer capable of making things right. The problem goes unsolved and you must also deal with the damage that your anger has caused.

Life does get tedious. So maybe you find a solution to your difficulty. Maybe you find a way to live with it. Maybe you just start over. I think that Granny Ray was trying to tell me that it is up to me to change my life when things go wrong. But we can also rest assured, this too shall pass.

Cookie Adams