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Following exposure to a trauma most people experience stress reactions. When trauma survivors take direct action to cope with their stress reactions, they put themselves in a position of power. Certain actions can help to reduce your distressing symptoms and make things better. Plus, these actions can result in changes that last into the future.

Active Coping. Active coping with the trauma makes you begin to feel less helpless. Active coping means accepting the impact of trauma on your life and taking direct action to improve things. Active coping occurs even when there is no crisis. Active coping is a way of responding to everyday life. It is a habit that must be made stronger.

Positive coping actions.

  • Learn more about trauma and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is useful to learn more about common reactions and what is normal. When you learn more you realize that you are not alone or weak.
  • Talk to others for support. It is important not to isolate yourself.
  • Distract yourself with positive activities. Pleasant activities can improve your mood and distract you from your memories.
  • Talk to your doctor or counselor. Part of taking care of yourself means using the helping resources around you. If efforts at coping don’t seem to help, you may become fearful or depressed.

 Practice relaxation methods. Try some different ways to relax, such as:

  • Muscle relaxation exercises.
  • Breathing exercises.
  • Meditation.
  • Swimming, stretching, yoga.
  • Prayer.
  • Listening to quite music.
  • Spending time in nature.

Know the recovery process. Understand that recovering from the trauma is a process and takes time. Knowing this will help you feel more in control.

  • Having an ongoing response to the trauma is normal.
  • Recovery is an ongoing, daily process. It happens little by little. It is not a matter of being cured all of a sudden.
  • Healing doesn’t mean forgetting traumatic events. It doesn’t mean you will have no pain or bad feelings when thinking about them.
  • Healing may mean fewer symptoms and symptoms that bother you less.
  • Healing means more confidence that you will be able to cope with your memories and symptoms. You will be better able to manage your feelings.


We are here to help if you would like to learn more about coping skills. Whether there is a recent trauma or stress in everyday life, active coping is a habit that can be made stronger.


adhdIs your child unfocused or over active?

Is your child struggling academically?

As an adult, are you constantly disorganized?

Are you constantly struggling to stay on task?

Early diagnosis and treatment can improve self-esteem, build confidence and make one more productive in the workplace.

The staff at Christian Counseling Center is trained in the diagnostic criteria and treatment strategies to assist children and adults with ADD/ADHD.

Call 270.442.5738 for more information and to schedule an appointment.


Focus on your future today!


A first-born or only child may be more likely to become a doctor or lawyer. Younger siblings more often turn to the arts or the outdoors. In part, you can credit parenting.

  • Parents may over-protect oldests or onlies. So they tend to follow more brain-based interests. When later children show up, parents can be more relaxed and hands-off.
  • Firstborns tend to try to be “perfect” more often than later-borns. But kids without siblings, who are often treated like little adults, seem to have even more of this trait.
  • 21 out of 23 of the first American astronauts were first born. All seven of the original Mercury astronauts were firstborns. Other famous firstborn trail-blazers: Winston Churchill, Bill Gates, JFK, and Oprah Winfrey.
  • It’s lonely at the top — or at least, at the beginning! A 2007 survey of corporate leaders found that 43% of CEOs were firstborns, 33% were middle children, and 23% were youngest children.200485798-009
  • Even when parents try to be even-steven, it rarely works out that way. Kids born first get as much as 3,000 more hours of quality time with parents than younger siblings do at the same age. Parents spend about equal time with two or more kids. But there’s less total free time than there was when a firstborn passed through a given age.
  • It’s clear why birth order interests us so much. Most of us weren’t born as the only child in a family.
  • Older moms say they feel closest to their “babies” no matter what the family size or spacing between kids. In the same study, mothers said firstborns were the ones they’d turn to when facing personal problems or a crisis.

Depression is a complex problem that affects many people.  It rarely exists in isolation.  It can be triggered and affected by neurons, hormones, nutrition, thought patterns, social interactions, or genetic predisposition.  Many depressive episodes are triggered by major life changes and stressful events; biological imbalance, illness and injury; personality and family history; vitamin deficiency; medications; or other causes.

Major Life Changes and Stressful Events


  • Childhood trauma
  • Death or a loss
  • Divorce (break up)
  • Redundancy
  • Loneliness
  • Moving
  • Getting a new job
  • Financial worries
  • Difficult social circumstances
  • Abuse (emotional, sexual, physical)
  • Overworking
  • Giving birth
  • Unemployment

Biological Imbalance, Illness, Injury


  • Brain injury
  • Under-active thyroid
  • Cushing’s syndrome
  • Celiac disease
  • Fibromyalgia
  • Kidney disease
  • Pyrrole Disease
  • Cancer
  • Heart disease
  • Crohn’s disease
  • Candida overgrowth
  • Arthritis
  • Multiple sclerosis
  • Lupus

Personality and Family History


  • Chronic self-criticism
  • Crippling guilt and shame
  • Being criticized and invalidated
  • Perfectionism
  • Ruminative thinking
  • Negative bias
  • Learned helplessness
  • Predisposition based on family history

Vitamin Deficiency

  • B complex
  • Vitamin D
  • Omega 3 fatty acids
  • Folate
  • Magnesiium
  • Amino acid
  • Iron
  • Zinc
  • Iodine
  • Selenium

Treatments and Medications


  • Hormonal contraception
  • Accutane
  • Corticosteroids
  • Interferon-alpha
  • Opioids
  • Benzodiazepines
  • Barbiturates
  • Anticholinergics
  • Poor Sleep
  • Internet overuse
  • Smoking, alcohol and drug use
  • Passive lifestyle
  • Unmet basic emotional needs




Have you ever met a joyful person who was chronically worried? Giving in to fear is a joy-killer.  When you live in fear you will know the pain of constant, chronic, low-grade anxiety. But when you overcome fear, you will know delight.

According to current research, most worriers tend to have high-capacity imaginations.  They usually carry above-average IQ’s. They are often people with much creative potential. But their imaginations run toward the negative. They tend to catastrophize:

  • What if bad things happen?3Luke122526-225x300.jpg
  • What if I get in an accident and wreck the car?
  • What if I lose my wallet?

All these things are contingent, set in the future, and may never happen at all! In fact, most of them won’t. But living with a fear-filled perspective robs you of life now!

A healthy sense of perspective allows us to assign these events a realistic assessment that helps us get on with life. But when you live in fear, the power of the “what if” becomes overwhelming, and you will go through life without joy. Joy and fear are fundamentally incompatible.

Exerpts from: If You Want to Walk on Water, You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat – John Ortberg

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away!

Do you carry your cell phone everywhere you go?  Are you constantly checking to see if you have new messages, texts, emails, or other forms of data? Do you put your cell phone on the table when you eat? Do you lay it beside the bed at nights? Our cell phones are helpful devices to serve a purpose in our lives, but it has become a potential addiction for many. You can notice people walking with their cell phones, while oblivious to others around them. It may prevent you from developing person to person relationships that require time to develop. Cell phones typically foster communication with sound bite messages rather than conversation. Facebook, Instagram, texts, and Twitter are frequent avenues for exchanging information or photos. Some are personal while others are impersonal and viewed by many. Messenger is a source for communication in a personal way between two individuals.

Teens and preteens are frequently distracted while in classes. Inattention creates poor learning skills resulting in poor grades much like ADHD. ADHD is a neurological and behavioral problem interfering with learning. Cell phones have become a distraction causing a reaction and irritability when information is not processed quickly or instantaneously as expected.  Please read to learn more about Smartphone addiction or over use.  There will be additional blogs on our website ( and Facebook page about the Smartphone which will include: 1. What is the smartphone addiction,  2. Effects of smartphone addiction, 3. Signs and symptoms of smartphone addiction,   4. Withdrawal symptoms from smartphone addiction, and 5. Tips for helping children and teens.

Think Positive! Wow, that’s a lot of pressure. When you are going through a struggle, it’s not easy to will yourself to think positive. While, “It’s ok, just think positive”, seems like good advice, positive thinking alone does nothing but get in the way of reaching your goal.

Take action. For progress of any kind you need to focus most ofgoal.jpg
your energy on positive action.

Define your objective or goal. It is important to know exactly what result you want to achieve.

Make a list. There are steps that you need to take to get there.

Track your progress. Every improvement you experience stimulates and rewards your brain, making you feel good about the accomplishment. When you feel good about something you’ve done, you get more motivated to keep doing it. However, accountability is a key ingredient to reaching your goals.

You know where you want to go; you know how to get there; you are motivated because of your positive actions. Positive thinking can get you started. But even successful people have negative thoughts. Just positive thinking by itself can be a stumbling block to solving a problem or reaching a goal. Take positive action instead.

Disagreement and arguments are common in most all relationships—between coworkers, spouses, siblings.  In the heat of the moment, angry words can destroy a relationship that took many years to build.  By following a few short tips, individuals can use the opportunity to strengthen a relationship rather than destroy it.

Disagreement Do List

  1. Agree upon a time to discuss the issue
  2. Be aware of your body language (appear nonthreatening and relaxed)
  3. Avoid interruptions (phone calls, texts…)
  4. Control your tone of voice and volume
  5. Listen, Listen, Listen
  6. Think before you speak
  7. Make good eye contact
  8. Ask clarifying questions
  9. Be non-judgmental
  10. Be empathetic


boxing-gloves10 Rules of Fair Fighting

  1. No name calling
  2. No interrupting
  3. No blaming or accusations
  4. No cursing
  5. No yelling
  6. No sarcasm
  7. No defensiveness
  8. No generalizations (you always…)
  9. No physical/emotional intimidating
  10. No walking out without naming a follow up time.


Diane Reed, MA, LPCC

The best way to make your relationship better is to work at fixing what’s wrong, right? Nope. The most effective way to boost fun and passion is to add positive elements to your marriage. That positive energy makes you feel good and motivates you to keep going in that direction. 

Happy Couple.jpg

  • Say thank you for even the small things like folding the towels.
  • Stay Connected. Talk about the details of your day.
  • Mention the qualities that you appreciate… hair, laugh, kindness.
  • Recall past times together and describe your hopes for the future.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t feel —or talk about —anything negative, but pretend you are weighing your interactions on a scale.

If you want a happier relationship, the positive side needs to far outweigh the bad. The more you honor the love and joy in your bond, the sooner you’ll transform your marriage into one that is truly great.

Here are some warning signs of suicide

  • Talking about suicide. Preoccupation with death.
  • Looking for ways to die (internet searches for how to commit suicide, looking for guns, pills, etc.)
  • Statements about hopelessness, helplessness, or worthlessness.
  • Anger, restlessness, agitation, irritability, or other dramatic changes in mood.
  • Recklessness or high risk-taking behavior.
  • Suddenly happier, calmer.
  • Loss of interest in things one cares about – Withdrawing from family, friends and activities.
  • Visiting or calling people one cares about.
  • Making arrangements; setting one’s affairs in order. Giving away prized possessions.

If You See the Warning Signs of Suicide…

Begin a dialogue by asking questions. Suicidal thoughts are common with depressive illnesses and your willingness to talk about it in a non-judgmental, non-confrontational way can be the help a person needs to seek professional help. Questions okay to ask:

  • “Do you ever feel so badly that you think about suicide?”
  • “Do you have a plan to commit suicide or take your life?”
  • “Have you thought about when you would do it (today, tomorrow, next week)?”
  • “Have you thought about what method you would use?”

Asking these questions will help you to determine if your friend or family members is in immediate danger, and get help if needed. A suicidal person should see a doctor or mental health professional immediately. Calling 911 or going to a hospital emergency room are also good options to prevent a tragic suicide attempt or death. Calling the National Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK is also a resource for you or the person you care about for help. Remember, always take thoughts of or plans for suicide seriously.

Don’t try to minimize problems or shame a person into changing their mind. Your opinion of a person’s situation is irrelevant. Trying to convince a person suffering with a mental illness that it’s not that bad, or that they have everything to live for may only increase their feelings of guilt and hopelessness. Reassure them that help is available, that depression is treatable, and that suicidal feelings are temporary. Life can get better!

If you feel the person isn’t in immediate danger, acknowledge the pain as legitimate and offer to work together to get help. Make sure you follow through. This is one instance where you must be tenacious in your follow-up. Help find a doctor or a mental health professional, participate in making the first phone call, or go along to the first appointment. If you’re in a position to help, don’t assume that your persistence is unwanted or intrusive. Risking your feelings to help save a life is a risk worth taking.

Image result for suicide

If you have thoughts of suicide, these options are available to you:

  • Dial: 911 or Dial: 1-800-273-TALK
  • Check yourself into the emergency room.
  • Tell someone who can help you find help immediately.
  • Stay away from things that might hurt you.
  • Most people can be treated with antidepressant medication and psychotherapy.
  • Look in your local Yellow Pages under Mental Health and/or Suicide Prevention; then call the mental health organizations or crisis phone lines that are listed. There may be clinics or counseling centers in your area operating on a sliding or no-fee scale.
  • Visit the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill website at for more information.

A suicidal person urgently needs to see a doctor or mental health professional.           

Information gathered from:

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  • Learning how not to do for others what they can learn to do for themselves is one of the golden rules of adult maturity. 3 years ago
  • In an effort to avoid the feeling of failing people often don't put forth effort.By doing this they will not experience their full potential 3 years ago
  • The ability to successfully handle conflict is more important than the amount of conflict in a marriage. 3 years ago
  • Weekend challenge: Tell your spouse something you love about them and expect nothing in return. 3 years ago
  • Word Wed:Don't be anxious about anything,but in every situation,by prayer and petition,with thanksgiving,present your requests to God.Phil4 3 years ago

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